The Endless Steps: 1d100 Stores & 1d100 Odd Trinkets

The Endless Steps

“The city that's nothing but stairs and thieves.”

“After a while, you can simply get lost walking up and down those stairs.”

“The palace at the top? I've never been. Never left this ledge, really.”

“I’ve been walking for.. Years now? It never ends, not really. Every trip up and down is different, you see?”

“The street food here is the best. It’s hard to describe just how delicious and cheap it is.”

“No priests, here. Wicked or pious, they’re both swallowed up by it all.”

The great steps. The endless flight. Fothswain’s Legacy. Some maps list the city as the Heavenly Ascent. Regardless, the City is a hive. It is a massive staircase that rises thousands of feet up the side of a sandstone cliff. Most of the living accommodations double as storefronts, and a fifth of the population has no permanent residence. The southern half of the city is open to the air, so while the sun never directly pours in, most of the population retreats inwards during the hottest hours of the day.

The low end of the staircase descends into the ground, leading to an oubliette that houses criminals and creatures of debased nature. At the opposite end, the staircase rises to reveal a plateau in the sandstone mountain. It is here that a lavish palace houses a young ruler and the djinn that helped him create the bizarre, surreal city.

What's more, the steps are ever-shifting. The exact number of steps, the various districts and the layout of the city itself is seemingly ever-shifting. It changes during the day when its inhabitants enjoy their daydreams, or the heat-fevers. Visitors scarcely notice, but many climbers often find their progress on the long walk destroyed by a bad shift. Still, anyone who visits the Steps is bound to stop by the markets - they're full of bargains and discounts, after all.

1d100 Stores found on the Market Ascent
If you can’t imagine what any given store sells, roll some more dice. Odd result = bar, even result = brothel.

  1. The Golden Needle.
  2. Greengrimace’s Crystal Warehouse.
  3. The Thorn in the Bodice.
  4. One Hundred Years of War.
  5. Bellchimes and More.
  6. Bilgewater’s Sundries.
  7. Kebbabbs.
  8. All Roads Lead Here.
  9. The Waterpump.
  10. Barley and Brother’s Brewer.
  11. Snakepit (Venoms and toxins for the discerning rogue).
  12. The Deal With Yonder Devil.
  13. Dan’s (Tiny apartments at reasonable prices).
  14. Painted Hands.
  15. Cracktown Blades.
  16. Forward, Entropic Wards!
  17. The Empty Icebucket.
  18. Baker Baker & Baker.
  19. Silence, the Hawk.
  20. Doorframes Unlimited.
  21. Doorrframmes Limited.
  22. The Busted Bucket.
  23. Bloody Pigs. (High-class butchery)
  24. Breakfast Only.
  25. Harlots To Suit You.
  26. The Bull’s Horns.
  27. Lovely Concoctions.
  28. The Money Machine.
  29. Where Will YOU Be When Disaster Strikes?
  30. Hope To Die.
  31. Eye of the Storm.
  32. Caravels Carracks and Cogs.
  33. Chilled Fingers.
  34. Father Glascoigne’s Funerary Garb.
  35. Vic the Razor’s Garrotes and Ingestibles.
  36. The Brass Knuckle Bar.
  37. Vast Landscapes, and other Paintings.
  38. Stoked Ashes.
  39. Occultesque.
  40. Drain the Blood & Gut the Carcass.
  41. Tiger Pit Diggers.
  42. The Dry Watering Hole.
  43. Same Sauna. (For the rest of us)
  44. Klarthag’s Model Homes.
  45. The Eldritch Horror Library.
  46. The Finest Sausages on the Steps.
  47. Kari’s Kebabs.
  48. Tom’s Kebab Emporium.
  49. Homemade Kebabs.
  50. One Silver, One Kebab.
  51. Oddwicta the Kebab Artist.
  52. The Pretender’s Disguise.
  53. Envoy to the Queen.
  54. Obsidian Chemists. (High-quality tobacco and pipes)
  55. The Ten-Armed Guitarist.
  56. Brutal Weapons for the Enlightened Warrior.
  57. Wizard Overstock Warehouse.
  58. Can You Hear His Voice? (Come Hear the Good News!)
  59. No Easy Road Out.
  60. Discount Healing Supplies.
  61. Glib’s Ethereal Paint.
  62. Cedar Boulevard Apartments.
  63. No Grave for the Weary.
  64. Cool Waters.
  65. Big River Fishing Supplies.
  66. The Charred Lung. (Steak and ale)
  67. On a Steed of Steel.
  68. Deal of the Day. (Soups)
  69. Still Squirming. (Battered and roasted fish)
  70. The Waiting Game.
  71. Bleeding Cactus Lounge.
  72. Leather to Fit Armory.
  73. The Deadly Prince.
  74. Hollow Spines.
  75. Rediscoveries.
  76. Dick’s Sporting Goods.
  77. No Mountain Unclimbed.
  78. Bit and Tackle.
  79. Adventurers in a Hurry. (Surplus & scavenged adventuring gear)
  80. Bardic Tales.
  81. Twelve Nights on the Steps.
  82. You didn’t come here to get mugged.
  83. Mindscribes. (Memory erasing & replacement services)
  84. The Smoke Pits.
  85. Scummy Sam’s Scummy Kebabs.
  86. Bring A Friend.
  87. Hotrock Potstickers.
  88. Heartbreaker.
  89. The Autumn Lounge.
  90. Close Your Eyes.
  91. The Thrifty Wizard.
  92. The Spider’s Silks.
  93. Swift Ibrahim’s Horses.
  94. Salt and Curry. (Artisan kebabs)
  95. Pure Waters Bath Sauna.
  96. The Commodity Cornerstone.
  97. The Chastity Belt. (Coin changer)
  98. Eye of the Beholder Jewelry.
  99. Savage Lands, Savage Spices.
  100. Eastern-Style Kebabs.

Those odd storefronts are not always the highlight of a shopper’s journey up the Market Ascent. The carts are a hub, found in the dead center of the Ascent. Fifty or more cramped booths bunched together form a maze of stalls that sell the most bizarre of goods. A few silver can buy just about anything at a stall, but finding what you want is nearly impossible - the stock changes every night. It's not an official market - there's no district name or consensus on what to call the secondhand markets, but many simply refer to the area as the Cart District.

1d100 Trinkets sold in the Cart Market
  1. Bundles of old wooden dip pens.
  2. Old manuscripts filled with bizarre animal anatomy.
  3. A rich assortment of old, worn wedding bands.
  4. Rich pickled eggs.
  5. Signal mirrors, well-worn and trusty.
  6. Waterproof tinderboxes and small fireworks.
  7. Magical Scrolls. (Random level 1 wizard spell)
  8. Set of five exquisite, thin throwing knives.
  9. Ruby worry-stone that erases unpleasant memories.
  10. Strangely familiar boots.
  11. Challenging puzzle box. (2d6-INT days to open, contains 150 silver pieces)
  12. Bottle of black leather dye.
  13. Monocles with odd patterns etched in the glass.
  14. Amulet of a woman clasping a vial. (Contains 1 dose of anti-poison)
  15. Manual of advanced baking techniques.
  16. Flesh-stitching needle kit.
  17. Odd set of stone triangles that form a puzzle.
  18. Roll of dimly-glowing metal wire.
  19. Tiny metal boxes that can capture sound.
  20. Mason jars filled with odd, dangerous-looking leeches.
  21. A dagger with an internal reservoir for venom.
  22. Sticks of incense that keeps away wild animals when burnt.
  23. Bundles of moss that, when chewed, allow for water-breathing.
  24. Water blessed by a monk, used to break curses and cure disease.
  25. Enchanted fishhooks.
  26. A variety of slim weapon-sheathes designed to be concealed.
  27. Bottled smoke
  28. Peaches that cause the eater to look 2d6 years younger. No effect on lifespan.
  29. Enchanted scrollcase, can hold 10 scrolls in extradimensional space.
  30. Unnerving wooden masks.
  31. Expanded thieves tools.
  32. Shovel that consumes the dirt it digs.
  33. Spyglass that faintly illuminates swords that are viewed through its lens.
  34. Glasscutting tools.
  35. Odd wooden bowl. Every morning, produces one potato at sunrise.
  36. Axe that can only cut wood.
  37. Strange potted fern that stores sunlight, releases it at night.
  38. Domesticated war-turkeys.
  39. Silver mirror that shows an image of a random, distant locale every midnight.
  40. Exceptionally lightweight cooking gear.
  41. Makeup crafted by a faerie, infused with glamour.
  42. Wooden chess set, modeled after famous heroes from myth.
  43. Huge mechanical beasts designed to carry baggage.
  44. Dragon teeth. When scattered on dirt, strange creatures spring up.
  45. Blessed bone fragments used by diviners to predict the future.
  46. Droughts of liquified sleep.
  47. A small amulet that contains a helpful, knowledgeable spirit.
  48. A glass whiskey-thief that can move through solid objects to steal liquid from any container.
  49. Mechanical birds that can memorize one sound they hear and repeat it.
  50. Glass eggs that contain a tiny world.
  51. Undead potted cactus.
  52. Pyrite worry-stone that recalls false memories.
  53. Clay masks that change expression to match the wearer’s inner emotions.
  54. Beautiful folding fans that display ever-shifting tableaus.
  55. Small flowstones that heat up water to comfortable bathing temperatures.
  56. Mortal and pestle that can transmute gemstones into edible spices.
  57. Carafe with intricate etchings. Wine stored inside will never cork or spoil.
  58. Flasks of healing salve mingled with numbing agent.
  59. Musical instruments that all sound utterly wrong.
  60. Bunches of dried heat-flowers that all masochists and sadists love.
  61. Glowing sets of dice that have innate personality.
  62. A jagged flesh-blade that cooks whatever it flays.
  63. Lovingly-crafted boots, renowned for their comfort.
  64. Crystallized lightning, stored in easily-breakable rocks.
  65. Knitting needles that can pluck strands of water and weave them into tapestries.
  66. Small jars of various powders that magically enhance one’s beauty.
  67. A wicked dagger made of a werewolf’s infectious fang.
  68. An ugly, amusing hat that amplifies the wearer’s hearing.
  69. Pitch-black shortswords that are invisible in torchlight.
  70. Hip flask. Anything inside always tastes of peaches.
  71. Playing cards that quietly murmur insults to the players.
  72. Obsidian cubes, originally traded by void-travellers.
  73. Flashy feathers of some flighted creature that have been turned into pens.
  74. Glass orbs, each filled with a different sort of colorful, exotic fish.
  75. Wooden tonfas, the oak stained with lifeblood.
  76. Medicine that cures disease, but inflicts subtle mutations.
  77. Beautiful fruiting plants that store sunlight for later dispersal.
  78. Dormant parasite samples. They devour brain-flesh and replace it.
  79. Ancient textbooks that detail methods of preparing organs for surgery.
  80. Small statuettes of humans in various amounts of pain.
  81. Metal torches designed to slowly burn lamp oil.
  82. A music box that plays the sound of wet, frantic footsteps and panicked breathing.
  83. Sapphire worry-stone that conjures pleasant memories.
  84. Tanned hides from various rare beasts.
  85. Ice-9 in carefully-sealed tins.
  86. Metal tins lined with velvet for sending offerings to the deities.
  87. Jars of loose, assorted keys.
  88. A lamp that once held a djinn.
  89. Packs of freeze-dried noodle squares.
  90. Captive flames, trapped in diamond vials.
  91. Steel carafe overflowing with perpetually-cold milk.
  92. Strange garments from another world, stylish and protective.
  93. Silver chastity belt, intimidating and easily-hidden.
  94. Slim cedar wand that conjures fire from beyond the stars.
  95. Drugs that will polymorph anyone who imbibes them into a small creature for one minute.
  96. Tiny vials of gold dust, mixed with blood.
  97. Hearts of various animals, kept cold on ice.
  98. Pens that recall what they’ve been used to write.
  99. Animal tokens shaped from semi-precious stones.
  100. Blackened leather from a hellhound’s still-living form.


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